Sunday, March 27, 2011

Searching for the Good

Wanna know my favorite part of pain? I know you are shaking your head about now, saying to yourself that I've lost my mind, who has a favorite part of pain. Well I do!  It's that part when you realize something that hurt either doesn't hurt any more or hurts a lot less. You know, like when you stub your toe. First it hurts like nobody's business, then the throbbing sets in, then as you are going about your day at some point in time it stops. At some point in time you think to yourself - hey my toe isn't hurting anymore. That point! That point where you say - hey my toe isn't hurting anymore - that's my favorite. It's like sunshine after a rain. I make an effort to notice that moment. It's like searching for the good. 

So often I read about people with chronic illnesses, health issues, or disabilities talking about their pain, their illness, the disability as if it is central to who they are and what they do. Kind of like living inside the pain. The pain can be overwhelming, trust me this I know! If you are not able to see the good, however,  you'll never move up off that street. Never change addresses and always live inside the pain. Surely, no one wants that to happen. So what good has happened today?

I read a post online that said people with chronic illnesses should tell people how they are "really" doing when someone asks how they are today. Having lived with a fair amount of severe pain when you ask me how I'm doing I say - "I'm good" or an occasional "I'm okay". Is that an honest answer when my knee is swollen, I have a bruise from my monthly medicine, and I have an x-ray order riding around in my purse? Heck yes!! I live alone. If you are talking to me it means I'm out of my house. I'm out of my bed. I'm dressed the dog has been walked and I drove to where ever it is we are talking. I AM GOOD! Heck I might even be great!!

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